"I'll have a 'Jif & Jam'!"

We writers are creative types, which brings me logically to peanut butter. Ok, that nonsequitor sounds like the opening of a Dave Barry column. But here's my sticky point: I've come up with what I'm convinced is the best marketing approach ever for the popular "Jif" brand peanut butter:

Jif & Jam

The idea is deliciously perfect! Jif is so synonymous with peanut butter, that the traditional "peanut butter & jelly" (or jam) sandwich becomes a "Jif & Jam"! Both words start with "J." Both words are one-syllable. They roll off the tongue as easily as grape preserves.

And the concept just plain makes perfect sense. Can't you just picture the TV spot: "Ok, kids, who wants lunch?" mom announces, and the kids come running into the kitchen with "I do! I do!" "And what would you...." mother's question is interrupted with a chorus of "Jif & Jam! Jif & Jam!" (Or "Jif & Jelly" -- they both work admirably, despite jelly having two syllables; the rhythm's still very much there.)

So, dear readers, you've heard it here first. Take note, Jif marketing moguls. I know, I know -- you can steal my idea and never acknowledge it or pay me a dime. But I'm thinking that, if one day the world comes to replace the PB&J with the Jif & Jam, the makers of Jif will at least give me a few cases of the stuff. And maybe some milk.